


Paved with good intention

by Tchell1



Series: One day I'll build a castle (with all these stones on my way) [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Maryse is not a good mother, Mentions of homophobia, Protective!Jace, awesome!alec, hurt!Magnus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-09-06 08:47:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8743234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tchell1/pseuds/Tchell1
Summary: “You want to know why me and Alec stopped sharing a room?"Jace asked "I don’t know, Magnus, I mean, Maryse one day informed us that that would be how it was and that was it. End of the sad story. What am I missing?”“Have you never asked yourself why? Really, shadowhunter?” Magnus asked with a vicious voice. “Why the hell would the institute give you both a room of your own?? When everyone else was sharing? When you actually do not have that many bedrooms to offer? Did you never think about that??”





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is a bit angsty and can be triggering. There are mentions of homophobic behavior.  
> I did not read the books. I only saw the tv series.

Jace was walking back to the Institute, bringing Clary’s favorite donut when he felt a spike on his parabatai bond that sent his heart beating twice as quickly. The bond spiked again and again, until it was hurting all over. He leaned over a bench, trying to keep himself from falling. The bond would not stop hurting.

 

He sat on the bench and with trembling hands, he fished his cell phone from his pants pocket. He did not have to dial Alec, as soon as it lightened up, it started ringing, Alec’s name appearing on the small screen.

 

“Alec!” he gasped leaning over his body. The pain was still there “What is going on?”

 

“Jacejacejaceja-”

 

Jace gasped again and tried to control the pain.

 

“Are you hurt? What happened?”

 

He could hear Alec gasping and crying.

 

“I had a fight with Magnus.” Alec said and cried harder “By the angel, I had a fight with him and he is not here anymore and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, Magnus is not here, he is not here and I shouted at him and now I don’t know what to d-”

 

Jace fought to make sense of the flow of words Alec was saying. Alec was never the best at communication, and at the time, he was just rambling.

 

“Alec, stop.” Jace told him “Take a deep breath, for me, come on.” He could hear Alec making an effort to stop the crying and follow Jace’s instructions “Yes, that’s it, buddy, come on, deep breaths just like mine” and he made sure to breathe loudly so that Alec could hear him.

 

The pain at his side did not stop, but became more bearable.

 

“Now, tell me what happened.” He told Alec.

 

Jace heard Alec exhale loudly.

 

“I have no idea how things got out of control.” Alec said already explaining himself.  “We were at Magnus loft, I’m still at the loft, he just.. disappeared. I don’t know.” Jace couldn’t see, but he would bet Alec was running his hands through is hair in agitation “We were talking about the institute and its rules. It’s no secret Magnus makes fun of some of the rules, like, he keeps telling me that there is no way the institute will survive with its outdated ideas and conservative view. We were going back and forth about it until it got to bedrooms and how there are strict rules about sharing beds.”Alec laughed bitterly “I don’t know what I said… he just snapped.”

 

Jace frowned.

 

“He snapped at you?” Jace asked just to confirm. Magnus was in love with Alec and Jace had the impression the warlock would cut his own arm off before hurting his brother in anyway. But he would stay by Alec’s side no matter what and if Alec said Magnus mistreated him **,** Magnus would have to respond to Jace.

 

“No! Not at me. Magnus would never snap at me. He just… he got really quiet and asked me to leave. Out of nowhere!! I asked him what was the problem and he would not tell me! I asked him three times! I just.. Jace, I was so frustrated and agitated. He kept telling me that I should leave and suddenly, the kitchen lights exploded and Magnus… By the angel, Jace, Magnus looked as if he would cry.” Jace could hear Alec’s voice trembling. “He looked at me, snapped his fingers and just… disappeared. There was only me and blue smoke on his loft!” Alec took two deep breaths “I don’t know, I don’t know Jace… what do I do?”

 

And Jace, seated at the bench, clenching his side, with the donut forgotten, could not give Alec any advice. He felt frustrated. His parabatai was hurting and crying and all he could do was listen to him fall apart.

 

“Ok, what?” Jace asked after a while “Magnus could not control himself because… the institute doesn’t allow bed sharing?”

 

Jace heard Alec sigh on the other side of the call.

 

“I have no idea, Jace!! I don’t know! I just- I just want him back.” Alec said softly.

 

Jace closed his Alec. Alec seemed so lost on the other side.

 

_Well, not if I can help it._

 

“Ok, buddy.” Jace said getting up from the bench he was in. “Let me see if I can get to Magnus. Get back to you in a few. Do not do anything drastic.” and disconnected.

 

Jace looked up, thinking about his possibilities. He did not think Magnus would take his call but he figured he should at least make an effort. He sent a text to Clary informing her he might be a bit late and called Magnus.

 

Magnus answered immediately.

 

“What is wrong with your institution, shadowhunter?!?” Magnus shouted into a  surprised  Jace’s ear.

 

Jace took the phone put of his ear and stared at it.

 

_What?!?_

 

“What?!?” he said back.

 

“Where are you?” Magnus continued not making any sense.

 

“What the hell, what does th-”

 

“Just answer the question!”

 

Sighing, Jace decided to pick his battles.

 

“I’m at the park, a few blocks away from the donut shop Clary likes. Can we please discuss-”

 

Suddenly Magnus was in front of him, cell phone still in his ear.

 

“I could kill you all.” Magnus said with a very serious face. Jace heard the threat both over the phone and live.

 

Jace put the phone away. Between Magnus and Alec, Jace would always prioritize Alec. It was time to put a stop into Magnus rumpage.

 

“Okay!” Jace said in a raised voice “What is going on? You left Alec completely freaked out!” For a moment, jace saw Magnus eyes flash yellow and Jace remembered the warlock had just blown up the lights on his kitchen. “Woah! Take it easy” he back pedaled raising his hands in front of him.

 

Magnus took a deep breath, closing both his hands at his sides.

 

“Sometimes I just cannot believe how terrible you all can be.” Magnus said quietly “How insensitive you can behave. This is… I don’t even know. I just hope Alexander will stop this horrible trend you have going in there.” Magnus closed his eyes “Raziel know it has no more hope for me.” He finished softly.

 

Giving up on actually waiting for Magnus to make sense, Jace sat back on the bench. Sending a silent apology to Clary, he offered Magnus Clary’s donut.

 

“Ok, I’m all ears. Tell me what we’ve been doing that is so terrible.” Jace saw Magnus looking at him with alarmed eyes. Jace actually saw Magnus deciding to give Jace a chance. Slowly, Magnus took the donut and then sat besides Jace. “Well, I’m waiting.”

 

Magnus took a bite and then another.

 

“Tell me about the sleeping arrangements at the Institute.” He asked after a while.

 

_Ok, now we are getting somewhere._

 

“There are rooms with one, two and three beds. Me and Alec always shared a room. Izzy had her own, because she was the only female.” Jace answered calmly.

 

Magnus nodded and took another bite.

 

“When did you and Alec stopped sharing a room?” Magnus asked very softly.

 

Jace had to think about it. It had been so long ago.

 

“Humm… I’d imagine it was when we were around…. Thirteen? I don’t know, Magnus.”

 

Magnus got up and threw the napkin on the trash bin near them.

 

“Why?” he asked without turning back to Jace.

 

Jace snorted.

 

“Why we stopped sharing a room? I don’t know, Magnus, I mean, Maryse one day informed us that that would be how it was and that was it. End of the sad story. What am I missing?”

 

Jace felt the bench shake a bit. Mentally he thanked Magnus for getting away from Alec, as the warlock was having a lot of trouble controlling himself. When Magnus turned to Jace, for the first time since meeting him at the park, Jace felt fear. Magnus’ eyes were feral.

 

“Have you never asked yourself why? Really, shadowhunter?” Magnus asked with a vicious voice. “Why the hell would the institute give you both a room of your own?? When everyone else was sharing? When you actually do not have that many bedrooms to offer? Did you never think about that??”

 

Jace got up as well, triggered by Magnus tone.

 

“Of course not! Why would I think about that? I was a child!!”

 

Magnus opened his arms widely.

 

“Well, do you think about that now??”

 

 _Oh, fuck it_ , thought Jace.

 

“No, Magnus! In fact, this is the first time I’m thinking about it.” And Jace did not want to admit, but Magnus was actually right. Shadowhunters shared rooms. There were no sense of privacy in their world and now that Magnus was calling attention to it, something was different.

 

Jace heard Magnus take a few deep breaths.

 

“Do you want to know what I know that you don’t?” Magnus finally asked.

 

Jace sat back down.

 

“Yes.”

 

Magnus sat beside him again and did not look at him.

 

“If you tell this to Alec, you will regret ever meeting me.” Magnus said very softly to Jace staring ahead. Jace heard the deadly tone and was once again reminded that this was not only Alec’s magical boyfriend; this was the high warlock of Brooklyn and if Magnus wanted, he could blow up all of the city.

 

Jace sighed.

 

“What did I miss?” he asked again.

 

“A few years ago, your loveable Institute called me- well, it was Maryse, but she was acting with the Institute blessing.” Magnus started “Anyway, they wanted to know how much it would cost for me to create a very specific spell.” Magnus closed his eyes again. “They went on and on about this shadowhunter that was showing a very specific behavior that they did not like. They did not want his behavior to spread.”

 

Jace felt cold all of a sudden. _Oh, no._

 

Jace did not want to hear the rest. He had no idea what it was going to be and even then, he just wanted Magnus to stop.

 

“Go on.” Jace said instead of what he actually wanted to say.

 

The feral look appeared again.

 

“I asked Maryse what kind of behavior it was, but your dear mother must have the survival instinct intact because she did not tell me. What she did tell me was that it was none of my business and all that she wanted was for me to create a room with very few stimuli on it and that the person inside would have his emotions numbed. They did not want the shadowhunter to go rogue.”

 

Jace felt his spine turn cold. Alec’s room never had anything inside. It always had its wall barren and there were almost nothing personal inside the room. He also remembered that he had always felt calm inside it, as if his mind immediately stopped thinking when he was inside.

 

Now that he was thinking about it. Calm would not be the most appropriate word for his mind’s state. _Numb_ , as Magnus said, was a better word for it. Alec was always subdued inside his room.

 

An urgent urge to start breaking everything raised on Jace and was immediately crushed by a horrific realization. He could not imagine discovering he was responsible for his lover suffering or so long.

 

“It… it was a good thing you left Alec.” Jace finally said.

 

Magnus let out a bitter laugh.

 

“A _good_ thing? I- I’m a monster.” Magnus got up again and started walking back and forth in front o Jace “You don’t know – I mean, Alexandder was caged by me.  I don’t- How can I- _I HATE YOU ALL SO MUCH!_ ” Magnus shouted.

 

For a few seconds all Jace could hear was his own heart beating. Then, the tears came. He blinked a few times and they kept coming.

 

Looking right back at him, was Magnus, with so much frustration and sadness in his wet eyes. There was nothing Jace could do. He felt lost and betrayed by the Institute and all he could do was stare right back.

 

Magnus sobbed a few times, trying to control himself. After a while he seemed to manage.

 

“It is no use.” Magnus said “I need… I need to tell Alexander. I mean, I have to, right? I don’t- _how can you all keep destroying my life?”_ Magnus asked frustrated and hurt “How can you keep making Alexander suffer?” Jace saw a few more tears running down Magnus’ face “I keep getting surprised by the shadowhunter behavior, but you know what? You are all terrible.”

 

“Mag-”

 

Magnus stopped Jace with just a look.

 

“Just… call Alexander. I can’t see him right now. Tell him-” Magnus laughed bitterly again “I have no idea what you should tell him. By this point I don’t know.” He took two deep breaths “The spell is broken. I broke it as soon as i realized where he slept. His room is not his prison anymore. And I… I have no idea what to do.” With a hard stare full of anger and hurt, Magnus disappeared.

 

Jace was left alone with his most feral feelings inside him. He sat on bench for half an hour, digesting everything Magnus told him.

 

Finally, he took his phone out and called Alec.

 

“Hey buddy.” He said softly as soon as Alec answered “can you- can you meet me somewhere?”

 

____***____

 

Magnus arrived at his cabin in Alaska in the middle of a break down. His hand shook, his eyes blinked, the whole cabin was shaking and Magnus left out an anguished scream. How dare they? How dare they destroy every shred of happiness in Magnus life? Magnus and Alexander were happy! They were talking about moving in together! There were making plans!

 

Alexander would never look at Magnus again. Magnus would never look at himself the same again.

 

How much hurt did he cause? Was he the one responsible for all of Alexander’s panic attacks? Was he the one responsible for Alexander not being able to trust? It was not fair. None of that was fair.

 

Feeling desolated, Magnus conjured three bottles of whisky and started let all the tears fall freely, crying for his lost future. It was time to start planning for a life where he would never again look at himself the same way. Maryse and the Institute had managed to do what no one else could: destroy Magnus from the inside.

 

____***____

 

Alec looked at the very simple door in front of him, took a few deep breaths and tried opening it. With no surprise, it worked. Magnus could never shot Alec out.

 

Inside, the place was dark, there were bottles everywhere, parts of the walls were burned and the ceiling was all cracked. Alec had to close his eyes to not let the tears fall.

 

When he opened them again, Alec started looking for the one person he cared in this isolated place. He found Magnus on a corner of a room upstairs, he was on the floor, knees up and had his head on his arms.  Magnus looked so very small.

 

Alec felt his heart break. _Oh, no, my love._

 

Lowering himself, Alec got close to Magnus and sat by his side. Magnus’ head raised and Alec was met by yellow eyes. Alec could only distinguished sadness in them.

 

Magnus lowered his head back on his arms again.

 

Alec opened his mouth to speak, Magnus only curled more tightly over himself, closing Alec off.

 

Alec sighed and sat besides Magnus.

 

“I can wait.” Alec whispered.

 

____***___

 

It took Magnus an hour, but he finally looked back at Alec. Alec was waiting.

 

It took a few more seconds for Alec to start talking.

 

“How are you feeling, my love?” Alec asked choosing his words very carefully.

 

Alec saw Magnus closing his eyes again.

 

“I’m so sorry for all the hurt I caused you.” Magnus whispered back instead of answering Alec’s question.

 

Alec felt tears gather at his eyes again. Seeing Magnus so small and fragile was terrible.

 

“You were not the one responsible.” Alec whispered back.

 

“Just the tool used, right?” Magnus answered back “I’m so sorry.” He said again.

 

Alec shook his head, desolated.

 

“You don’t need to apologize.” He leaned his head until he could touch Magnus’ “It was not your fault.”

 

Magnus snorted and hid his eyes on his arms.

 

“I casted the spell, it was me.”

 

Alec nodded even though Magnus was not looking at him.

 

“Yes, it was you. I still forgive you.” Alec said.

 

Magnus raised his eyes again.

 

“I don’t… think you should be near me right now.”

 

Alec smiled very gently.

 

“Do you plan on hurting me?”

 

Magnus snorted again.

 

“Isn’t what I did enough? Do you want me to give you a few more psychological scars?” Magnus asked viciously.

 

Alec felt the hurt on the words and could not help the pang on his heart.

 

“Do you plan on hurting me?” he asked again.

 

Alec saw Magnus’ eyes fill with tears.

 

“No, Alexander.” Magnus answered as if in pain “It did not keep me from hurting you on the past.”

 

Alec looked up.

 

“It was not your fault.” Alec said again. And he would keep saying that until Magnus heard him.

 

Magnus shook his head.

 

“I don’t know what I should do.” He said. It was the first time Alec saw Magnus looking lost. He cursed his mother and all the hurt the Institute caused. Magnus should have never gotten hurt.

 

“Come back with me.” Alec said.

 

Again, Magnus shook his head.

 

“I cannot. I don’t trust myself. I don’t even know why you are still here.”

 

Alec took a deep breath.

 

“I’m here because I love you.” He replied. “I love you and you love me.”

 

Alec saw the hurt on Magnus eyes, saw the tears falling and all he could do was love Magnus.

 

“I hurt you so much.”

 

Alec took a chance and passed his arms over Magnus, bringing the warlock close to him.

 

“Yes, you did.” He said back to Magnus “I forgive you. It was not your fault.”

 

Finally, Alec felt Magnus relaxing against him. With a relived sigh, Alec closed both arms around Magnus, giving him support and love.

 

“What did I do, Alexander? How could I do it?’

 

Alec brought Magnus’ head up, making Magnus look at him.

 

“You did what you were paid to do, Magnus. This is your job and I’m not saying maybe on the future you should change the way you negotiate your jobs, but right now? Right now I’m saying I get it. And I forgive you.”

 

Magnus closed his eyes again.

 

“By the angel, I don’t deserve you.” Magnus said.

 

Alec actually laughed and kissed Magnus forehead.

 

“We both know that is not true. You and I? We deserve everything.” Alec said.

 

Magnus raised his head, offering his mouth to Alec and how could Alec refuse? He kissed Magnus with all his love, wishing his loveable warlock could heal.

 

“You need to understand it was never my intention to cause you hurt.” Magnus said again as soon as the kiss finished.

 

Alec smiled gently at him.

 

“I know, love. I understand.” He could not help kissing Magnus again “Please come back?”

 

Magnus closed his eyes again, letting his forehead touch Alec’s.

 

“Promise me you can stop something like this from happening again.” He begged Alec.

 

Alec laughed.

 

“I promise. We will stop this from happening again. You and I, together.”

 

 

 

 


End file.
